Ancestry

Letter of Apology and Accountability

July 31, 2024

(leer en español acá)

Dear friends, colleagues and community members,

It is with profound regret and deep pain for the sense of betrayal, anger, and disorientation my claims to Indigenous identity and ancestry have caused that I write this letter. My whole life I have been raised on stories of being Cherokee. After my biological father returned to Thailand, my mother raised me to believe I was of mixed-race Thai and Cherokee heritage. While I have never claimed Cherokee citizenship, the oral traditions of my family led me to believe I was descended from Cherokee ancestors. I very recently have come to question the story my mother told me about who I am. These existential questions have shaken the very Earth I stand upon and who I know myself to be in the world. Most importantly, they call attention to how I have contributed to the painful damage those who have erroneously claimed to be Cherokee have done to Indigenous sovereignty and specifically to the Cherokee Nation, the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians (EBCI), the United Keetoowah Band of Cherokee Indians (UKBCI), and Cherokee people. When high profile cases of identity fraud appeared, I asked my family to confirm our Cherokee ancestry, and they never wavered. Although it is difficult to challenge your own mother’s word, I see now that I should have verified these family stories independently and sooner.

It was not until a colleague recently shared with me that there were concerns about my claiming to be a Cherokee descendant that I began to research beyond family oral traditions and papers. This past spring of 2024, I started to do my own genealogical research. Through this process I eventually began to question my family’s claims to Cherokee ancestry. By July, the only evidence I had found was that my mother’s side of the family is white. It was then that I began my process of accountability by sharing my doubts with the people it would impact most: the Indigenous organizations I work with, my colleagues I collaborate with, and most of all, my current and former graduate students. I am now coming to terms with being implicated in a settler move that supplants the Indigenous people of this land and undermines the Cherokee sovereign right to define their membership. I am not Cherokee, regardless of what I was told. I am taking responsibility for the harms I have caused by not investigating this claim earlier. I profoundly regret any harm my credulous acceptance of my family’s stories has caused. For these reasons, I have ceased identifying as a Cherokee descendant.

My research on women in the Chicano movement and the process of accompanying Indigenous women’s organizing in Mexico and its diaspora for the past 25 years has not stemmed from my own false beliefs about my Cherokee heritage. Yet, those beliefs still informed how I have walked in the world and presented myself to others. My formation in women of color feminism and queer activism as a young person inspired my lifelong commitment to social justice, as well as Indigenous rights and solidarity, more specifically. I feel devastated for any harm to my students, colleagues, and those whom I have fought alongside for thirty years in social justice movements to which I have dedicated my life. During my educational journey as a student, I did not receive any resources specifically designated for Indigenous people, but I recognize that it is possible that my claim to being mixed race Cherokee and Thai may have contributed to my receiving resources intended to increase diversity in the academy. As a faculty member, I have received only one fellowship for Native researchers, and I have initiated a process to redress any unintentional wrongdoing.

I am still in the process of learning how to be in integrity as the rug of my very being – who I have known myself to be in the world – has been pulled out from under my feet. Despite this disorientation, I am committed to restoring integrity and to orienting toward a path of healing, restorative justice, and how to best to be an ally. I will continue to have a deep commitment to Indigenous rights and sovereignty and to be dedicated to the rights of Indigenous peoples globally. I offer my sincerest apologies to all who have been harmed by my inaction and to my students and colleagues at UCLA in the César E. Chávez Department of Chicana/o and Central American Studies as well as in the other departments, programs, and centers I have been affiliated with including Gender Studies and American Indian Studies. As part of this process of becoming accountable, I am open to being in conversation with those who I have harmed, and I would welcome the opportunity as a part of my practice of accountability, healing, and repair.

In solidary and the first steps of repair,

Maylei Blackwell